Parker oldies but goodies

Once upon a time:

some time ago: Parker's 2nd grade teacher gave each kid a small treasure chest of coins on the first day of school. The idea was if the kids were bad, she would take coins and if they were good, she would give them coins. Half way through class Parker came up to the teachers desk and handed her the treasure chest. she simply said "You might as well take these now because you will end up taking all of them eventually." and then she calmly turned around and returned to her desk.

even longer ago: I received a phone call from the Principle saying Parker was in her office because she refused to take a spelling test. Parker told her it was a waste of her time. The principle informed Parker that she would sit in her office until she decided to take the test. Parker's nonchalant response was "well then I guess I'll be in here all day!"

Parker leaves the country

I arrive for parent orientation at Parker's school and am getting side ways looks from the office staff and then again from her friends mother's. One of them approaches me and says "Is Parker back?" I respond with "Where did she go?" ...apparently at the end of last year, she told all of her friends and the entire school that she was moving out of the country. They threw a big party for her and everyone cried.....why am I surprised.....

Oh Parker

Parker to Dustin; "Dustin, I think you are really cool. You are like a brother to me.....a brother that my mom dates".......(awkward silence by all)

Parker's Yard Sale Stuff

We had a yard sale last Saturday and Parker was not present. When she returned home I gave her $5 for the toys I sold. She took one look at the money and said; "Um, ya, fork over the rest. My stuff was worth way more than five bucks!" ...She has a lot to learn in the world of yard sales.

Parker & Santa

Thanks to a family guy episode, Parker asked me the truth about Santa Claus. The look on her face when I spilled the beans was that of someone who might have witnessed a kitten being run over by a car. I tried to smooth things over by comparing Santa to the Easter Bunny, thinking that she couldn't possibly still believe in that, boy was I wrong! Her eyes glazed over and she muttered something about all of her hopes and dreams being nothing but lies and how she has been a fool to defend Santa to all of her friends at school who have long ago stopped believing. This is going to take some serious damage control. *^#%!

Travel Blog, Idaho Falls

Dear Diary,
How is it possible to survive two nights in a town that hides its bars? I can't even map quest one because the streets in this town are impossible! Turn right for N. Utah, turn left for S. Utah and Lindsay Blvd...all the same street! 3 different names! My navigator already has a hard time functioning, smoke literally pours out of her in this town. I swear, if a storm rolls in and I become trapped in this town, I will be forced to grab apple juice from the vending machine and start the fermenting process!

Parkers ipod Touch

So Parker received an itouch for christmas...from none other than her grandmother, disguised as "Santa Claus". She has been using it to text and talk so I assumed there was a charge for those services. I said; "Parker, quit texting with your itouch, your grandma is going to get charged for that!" She responded; "Uh, grandma? Santa's paying my phone bill."